Trauma: Recognizing Secondary Trauma in Caregivers

By Maria Diaz, LMHC-D, LPC, EMDR Certified Therapist

Take care of yourself as a caregiver

When we talk about trauma, we often picture the person who directly experienced a difficult or life-threatening event. But trauma doesn’t always stop with the individual—it has ripple effects. For caregivers, therapists, nurses, first responders, and even family members who consistently show up for someone who is struggling, there is a unique kind of emotional weight. This is often called secondary trauma or vicarious trauma.

Secondary trauma happens when caregivers are deeply impacted by hearing, witnessing, or supporting someone else through their pain. It’s a natural, human response that comes from empathy, connection, and care. But because many caregivers are focused on the needs of others, they often don’t recognize the signs in themselves until they feel burned out, exhausted, or disconnected.

Let’s talk about what secondary trauma looks like, why it happens, and—most importantly—what you can do to care for yourself while continuing to care for others.

What is Secondary Trauma?

Secondary trauma refers to the emotional stress that comes from exposure to another person’s trauma. Unlike burnout—which is often tied to workload or organizational stress—secondary trauma is specifically related to carrying the weight of someone else’s difficult experiences.

Imagine sitting with a loved one as they share a painful story, or listening to clients day after day recount their struggles. Over time, those stories can stay with you. You might find yourself dreaming about them, feeling their pain in your body, or noticing a heaviness that lingers long after the moment has passed.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Secondary Trauma

Recognizing the signs is the first step toward addressing secondary trauma. Some common indicators include:

• Emotional exhaustion: Feeling drained, numb, or like you have nothing left to give.

• Heightened anxiety or irritability: Snapping at small things or feeling on edge.

• Intrusive thoughts: Replaying someone else’s story in your mind or feeling haunted by their experiences.

• Changes in worldview: Becoming more cynical, mistrustful, or hopeless about humanity.

• Difficulty separating work and home life: Carrying the stress into your personal relationships.

• Physical symptoms: Headaches, disrupted sleep, or changes in appetite.

If these symptoms feel familiar, know that they do not mean you are weak or unfit to care for others. On the contrary, they’re a sign of your deep empathy and humanity. The key is learning to recognize them early so you can respond with care and intention.

Why Caregivers Are at Risk

Caregivers are wired to help. Many enter caregiving roles out of a deep sense of compassion and responsibility. But that same compassion can sometimes lead to self-neglect.

When your focus is always on supporting others, it can feel selfish—or even impossible—to pause and attend to your own needs. Add in long hours, systemic stressors, and a culture that often glorifies “pushing through,” and it’s no surprise that caregivers carry a heavy emotional load.

The very qualities that make you a good caregiver—empathy, patience, dedication—are also what make you vulnerable to secondary trauma.

What You Can Do: Caring for the Caregiver

While secondary trauma is real, it’s not inevitable. There are practical steps you can take to protect your well-being while still being present for those who need you.

1. Notice and name what’s happening.

   Awareness is powerful. Simply being able to say, “I might be experiencing secondary trauma,” helps you step out of autopilot and into intentional self-care.

2. Prioritize rest and recovery.

   Caregiving takes a toll on your nervous system. Build in regular practices that allow your body and mind to reset—whether that’s sleep, movement, time in nature, or creative outlets.

3. Set healthy boundaries.

   Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re ways to preserve your energy so you can continue to show up. This might mean limiting after-hours calls, saying no to extra commitments, or creating rituals to transition between work and home.

4. Seek connection and support.

   Caregivers often feel isolated, but you don’t have to carry the weight alone. Talking with peers, supervisors, or loved ones who understand can make an enormous difference. Therapy and supervision can also provide safe spaces to process what you’re holding.

5. Practice grounding and self-regulation.

   Simple practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, or noticing what’s around you can help regulate your nervous system in moments of overwhelm.

6. Revisit your “why.”

   Secondary trauma can cloud the meaning and purpose that drew you to caregiving in the first place. Taking time to reflect on your values, your impact, and the lives you’ve touched can reconnect you with your sense of purpose.

A Gentle Reminder

If you are a caregiver, know this: your empathy is not a flaw—it is a strength. But even the strongest need care. Recognizing secondary trauma is not a sign of failure; it’s a signal that you’ve been carrying a great deal and deserve support too.

Caring for yourself is not selfish. In fact, it’s one of the most important things you can do to continue caring for others sustainably. Just as you remind those you support that healing takes time and tenderness, the same applies to you.

So pause. Breathe. Check in with yourself. You are not alone in this, and your well-being matters.

About the Author

Maria Diaz is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY, NJ, and CT. She's certified in EMDR and trained in trauma-focused modalities. She is focused on healing and providing compassionate treatment to best support clients looking to feel better.

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