Setting Goals While Healing from Trauma

By Maria Diaz, LMHC-D, LPC, EMDR Certified Therapist

Set Goals To Help Your Process!

Healing from trauma is a journey, not a race. It’s a process that unfolds in layers, and often, it doesn’t follow a neat timeline. Some days, you may feel like you’ve made great strides, while on others, it might feel as though you’ve taken a step back. Both experiences are normal and valid. One way to create a sense of direction and empowerment during this journey is by setting goals. But when it comes to healing, goals look a little different than they do in other areas of life.

Instead of rigid milestones or high-pressure achievements, healing goals are about supporting yourself with compassion, creating safety, and moving forward in small, meaningful ways. Let’s explore how to set goals while healing from trauma, and how these intentions can help you cultivate resilience, hope, and balance.

Why Goals Matter in Trauma Recovery

When you’ve lived through trauma, it can feel as though your sense of control has been taken from you. The unpredictability of triggers, emotions, or memories may leave you feeling powerless at times. Setting goals, even small ones, helps restore that sense of agency.

Goals can:

• Provide direction: They give you something to focus on beyond the pain of the past.

• Offer structure: When healing feels messy, having gentle steps forward can ground you.

• Build confidence: Each time you meet a goal, no matter how small, you’re proving to yourself that progress is possible.

The key is remembering that your goals aren’t about perfection or pressure—they’re about support.

Redefining What “Success” Looks Like

In traditional goal-setting, success is often tied to productivity or measurable outcomes: finishing a project, hitting a target, or reaching a deadline. Trauma recovery doesn’t work that way. Healing goals are less about “accomplishment” and more about nurturing your wellbeing.

For example:

• Success might be allowing yourself to rest without guilt.

• Success might be reaching out to a friend when you usually withdraw.

• Success might be practicing one grounding exercise during a stressful moment.

Each of these is a meaningful achievement because it supports your growth, healing, and resilience.

Steps for Setting Gentle Healing Goals

Here are some guiding principles you can use to create supportive, trauma-informed goals:

1. Start Small and Specific

Healing takes energy, and some days will feel heavier than others. Choose small, realistic goals that can be adjusted as needed. Instead of “I will meditate every day,” try:

• “I will try a 2-minute breathing exercise three times this week.”

This allows space for flexibility without feeling like you’ve failed if things don’t go perfectly.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

Trauma often involves experiences where control was taken away. Setting goals around your own actions—rather than outcomes—helps rebuild empowerment. For example:

• Instead of “I’ll never get triggered again,” try “When I feel triggered, I’ll practice a grounding skill.”

3. Connect Goals to Your Values

Ask yourself: What matters most to me as I heal? Maybe it’s connection, safety, creativity, or peace. Let your goals align with those values. For instance, if connection matters, a goal might be:

• “I’ll text a trusted friend once a week to check in.”

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Healing can be slow, but progress is progress. Celebrate when you follow through on your goals—even in small ways. Saying, “I’m proud of myself for trying” reinforces self-compassion and encourages you to keep going.

5. Allow for Flexibility

Your needs may shift from week to week. What feels supportive today might feel overwhelming tomorrow. It’s okay to adjust your goals as you go. Flexibility is part of honoring your healing process.

Examples of Healing Goals

Here are some gentle ideas you might try:

• Emotional Support Goals: Journal for five minutes twice a week, attend a support group, or schedule a therapy session.

• Physical Wellbeing Goals: Go for a short walk, try gentle stretching, or prioritize consistent sleep.

• Mindfulness Goals: Practice one grounding technique when you notice anxiety, listen to calming music, or spend time in nature.

• Connection Goals: Call a loved one, join a community activity, or share honestly with a trusted friend.

Remember—your healing goals don’t need to look like anyone else’s. They’re personal to your journey.

Practicing Self-Compassion Along the Way

Goal-setting during trauma recovery works best when paired with self-compassion. Some days, just getting through is enough. On those days, remind yourself:

• Healing isn’t linear—it’s okay to have ups and downs.

• You are not behind, even if progress feels slow.

• Taking care of yourself in the moment is an accomplishment.

Self-compassion means being as kind to yourself as you would be to a close friend. It also means forgiving yourself when things don’t go as planned.

Final Thoughts

Setting goals while healing from trauma is less about checking boxes and more about creating a supportive path forward. These goals remind you that you’re capable of growth, even if it happens in small, steady steps. By focusing on what feels safe, realistic, and nurturing, you’re building a foundation for long-term healing.

Your journey is uniquely yours. Give yourself permission to go at your own pace, to celebrate progress in all its forms, and to adjust your goals as you learn what works best for you. Above all, remember: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Simply showing up for yourself, one gentle step at a time, is already a powerful act of healing.

About the Author

Maria Diaz is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY, NJ, and CT. She's certified in EMDR and trained in trauma-focused modalities. She is focused on healing and providing compassionate treatment to best support clients looking to feel better.

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